Wednesday........

Today... all I can say is that I'm here. Last night went well for training I think. Although there is that one person who tried to take off my baby's head... hmmm can anyone say "shank" lol. There are all sorts of people you meet in wrestling. Sometimes it's hard to see until to get deeper in it. Right now the Mr. is getting to knwo who's who and who they are tied to so as not to step on anyones toes or make any enemies.

SO why do people try to do their best to hurt you in the ring on top of it's training so you do everything in slow motion at first and not full steam. hmmmm, I wonder. SO we have to sit and watch and wait although really in the ring it doesn't matter if you don't get along, hell even if you hate the person. Persoanl difference aside you will respect each other and work together. I do however wonder if you choose not to work with someone how much work you will actually get? Probably not much.

So I will save my anger and just shank them in the parking lot LMAO. Ok so I won't but I will definitely bide my time until someone kicks their butt. Hell I will probably instigate it. REALLY.

Now on another note since I'm a little perturbed , I love Bj with all my heart. I love his Dad and Step Mom, his best friend and his Mrs. They are all wonderful. Now the mom - in - law is different. I am a little upset at myself because I got very upset yesterday and could not contain it. I am never one to hold my tongue nor punches. I am the kind of person that will not pretend to be anyone I am not. Now the in law has been here for a couple of days and has managed to really get under the skin. I am trying my best not to blow up although I fear I'm still managing to let it out on him. Of course it isn't ok either because I don't want to argue with him about stuff that isn't his fault. However I kind of feel like I'm expected to hold it in and not say anything so as not to anger anyone else.... HOW?

Not only because of how I am feeling about things that have gone on, but more so because I dislike anyone putting him down. AND I definitely don't like anyone saying it to the boys either. Basically she is putting him down not only by telling him but then trying to make them less in their eyes. Who does that? This is your child and your grandchildren, how could you want to make them think that he is less of a man or that he's not good enough. I really hope that it gets better only I don't see it happening. I really don't think I can hold my tongue forever, and when we have another one, will she try to tell them those things too? Not on my watch. We will fight.

I am so proud of Bj, I am behind him 100% in all that he is taking on. Hell, I love going to wrestling with him. It's awesome, and to see him in the ring. He still ebats himself up about everything Life in general as well, and I really do know why. How do you reverse a lifetime of people telling you that you are not good enough?

We do not talk to our kids that way, we do not discourage them, nor tell them that they are dumb. Having 4 kids is not easy by any means and we have made some mistakes sure, but we are now and will always be better parents than our parents were. Sorry for the rant I think I feel a little better now that I have eaten something. I wish people would be different though but change doesn't always come.